I haven't written in my blog for a while. There has been a lot of weather changes upon weather changes. One minute it has been cold and we have snow and then the next minute we have Spring like weather. Today the sun was out and the sky was a pale blue and the air was nippy.
I don't talk to much about my challenges as I try not to dwell on the fact that my legs sometimes go out and sometimes I stutter or that I have a lot of pain. I dwell on the fact that I don't don't stutter as much and that my legs are getting stronger. I can walk better than I use to. I don't need a walker. I also want to let you know that I give Jesus honor and glory and God is helping me.
I have also had well meaning people tell me it is because there must be sin in my life why I am having these physcial challenges. I firmly believe that my challenges are to make me strong and to rely on God for everything.
I have come to realize that Each day is a gift from God. . I celebrate each day by finding what went well in my day of challenges. Trying to figure out sin and what I have done just tires me out.
You might ask Why don't you do such and such to fix the problem or go to the doctor. Unfortunately doctors have not taken me seriously and have told me it is in my head. Well that is usually were problems from my head! With a bad attitude about how I am feeling. Negative thoughts can cause the body to be sick.
I use to be angry person. I was angry that I fell off my bike and hurt my back. I use to be angry that the doctors didn't seem to listen to me. I was angry because my husband didn't have steady work. My anger grew into rage. I broke dishes lots of dishes and cried and cried because I thought God had given me a rotten deal in life. I had a lot of potty language. I was even angry at the church as well. My marriage got into trouble because of me being selfish and not wanting to think of hubbys needs as well as my own. Me me me. We couldn't have kids and we couldn't afford a house because of my husbands work situation. I was also trying to be someone I was not, a perfect person. I still struggle at times with anger but God has helped me to learn to control my anger. I slip but I confess my sin to God and he hears and forgives and I know my heart is right with God.
I am Grateful to God for Emotional Healing
I have received emotional healing from God. I realized I was trying to be someone I was not. I had to release my anger to Jesus and let him take it. I have a better attitude towards my husband and I love life. I love to live life
I am open to physical healing. I have left my healing up to Jesus to touch me in my body. I won't stoop to ever demanding God to heal me. God has ordained my days. I celebrate the days I am able to run without pain. I celebrate the strength that God has given to me to depend on him.
I am not perfect. I still struggle but now I am stronger to stand on my own with the Lord's help. I so love Jesus. He first loved me.
Some day I am going to get a new body. A new body that won't crack when I move my arms or knees. A speech that will be clear when I am Praising God. I will get whole new body!
Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your Heart